Adoption has been in our hearts for as many years as we have been married. 16 years this month. As a young couple we dreamed of how and when we would adopt in our future. We definetely didn’t expect a domestic adoption to be the road we would journey but that is a lot like life in general right? We didn’t foresee infertility, or an explosive growth of our own babies (four in 2.5 years) and that doesn’t include the youngest or oldest.
We both came from average size families. We didn’t set out to have a half dozen children or more. Yet this is US, the greatest surprise of our life was how much we love our children and parenting them. We love them so much that want to see our family grow again.
We would have loved to see that take place through the foster care system, fostering to adopt was a road we started 11 years ago. We began classes and as we learned about the intention to first re-unify families I knew at that time, after just having a miscarriage that I wasn’t mentally in the right frame of mind to foster with the bio parents reunification as the main goal.
We stepped away in that season and that passion never left my heart. Years passed as we grew our family. I had no idea that as we continued to welcome new babies into our home that we would eventually disqualify our family from Foster Care. Each state has its own max limit. The state of California is six children under the age of 18. There are loop holes, if we already had a adopted child with a sibling just born we could be considered, but we hit the max number before we were ever certified.
We spent two years with the knowledge of that reality, we couldn’t adopt through foster care. My husband was working on his masters and our kids were young so we decided to let life move on and see how God worked in our hearts.
In the spring of 2017 we began talking about adoption again. We decided to pray over whether we should pursue it and what form we would pursue. International adoption, domestic infant adoption foster-to-adopt, and embryo adoption. After a few weeks of discussing our options we were both shocked by our passion to find out more information about domestic adoptions. I would have always thought a country would begin to burn in our hearts. That we would know where to go… and to our huge surprise its right here in our own country. Our hearts did burn but specifically for young women who are faced with unplanned pregnancies and afraid of their options. We walked the road of infertility, we saw our 2nd & 3rd born (twins) as 3 day old embryos. We believe life begins at conception. Abortion breaks our hearts, and we want to give a woman a different option for her baby.
We are beyond excited to love a birth mom. We didn’t see this coming. We didn’t see this and now we can’t imagine any other way. We are humbled to walk this crazy expensive American road of adoption. We could despise the costs or we can say “anything is possible when many work together.”
This is our heart for adoption.